Just as we can’t fully explain what is beautiful, so we can’t fully explain why we are friends with someone in a way that will make the grounds of our attraction obvious to another – and even to ourselves. Our efforts always leave something out. And it is what is always left out that we try to gesture toward when we say that it is not something ABOUT our friends that we love but our friends THEMSELVES. But the self that we love is always just one one step behind whatever we can actually articulate. And so we are faced with a choice between saying something that seems informative but is never enough of an explanation ('loyal, practical, unworldly and so on') and saying something else that seems like an explanation but is completely uninformative ('the individual, in the uniqueness and integrity of his or her individuality'). Alexander Nehamas
About This Quote

When we focus on the specifics of our relationships we not only bring the conversation down to a level where we can understand it but we also lose sight of the fact that there is something else at work. That is, we always bring our friends and ourselves down to a level of explanation and understanding and lose sight of the fact that those things are not something that exist beyond those relationships.

Source: On Friendship

Some Similar Quotes
  1. It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages. - Friedrich Nietzsche

  2. There is nothing I would not do for those who are really my friends. I have no notion of loving people by halves, it is not my nature. - Jane Austen

  3. If I had a flower for every time I thought of you... I could walk through my garden forever. - Alfred Tennyson

  4. You are my best friend as well as my lover, and I do not know which side of you I enjoy the most. I treasure each side, just as I have treasured our life together. - Nicholas Sparks

  5. Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing there is a field. I'll meet you there. When the soul lies down in that grassthe world is too full to talk about. - Jalaluddin Rumi

More Quotes By Alexander Nehamas
  1. I will tell you why I became a philosopher. I became a philosopher because I wanted to be able to talk about many, many things, ideally with knowledge, but sometimes not quite the amount of knowledge that I would need if I were to be...

  2. Just as we can’t fully explain what is beautiful, so we can’t fully explain why we are friends with someone in a way that will make the grounds of our attraction obvious to another – and even to ourselves. Our efforts always leave something out....

Related Topics